


What home?

by Pinxku



Series: Peek into Alexander's past and the extras [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abandonment, Adoption, Alexander Hamilton is George Washington & Martha Washington's Adopted Son, Alexander angst, Alexander doesn't have a home, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Fanart, Feels, Gen, George Washington is a Dad, Homelessness, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, Not Canon Compliant, Poor Alexander Hamilton, Poor Life Choices, Post-meet me inside, Protective Washington, Sad, Washingdad, Washington adopts Alexander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21959314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinxku/pseuds/Pinxku
Summary: Washington has been furious With Alexander. The boy has disobeyed his direct order and gone to duel Lee. As much as it pained him this could not go unpunished so he sents him home. Little did he know that his boy didn't have one and Alexander the prideful young man he was won't tell and leaves to live on the streets. And oh boy when Washington finds out...Or the story where Alexander gets finally adopted by Washingdad. Not that he made it easy.(Because he is Alexander Hamilton, duh)This is a little side story of moment that I mentioned in the main story "Peek into Alexander's past" but can be read as an individual
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & George Washington
Series: Peek into Alexander's past and the extras [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1580812
Comments: 39
Kudos: 280





	What home?

Washington was furious as he walks back to his tent. Alexander had gone and disobeyed his direct order right after he has told him not to do anything. Of course, the boy did anyways and went to duel as a second for that Laurens boy. Now his incompetent soldier Lee was shot and he has to punish Alex for it.

All and all the meaning was nice. Alexander was protecting his honor like he would wish his own son to want to try and protect him. But he still went ahead and disobeyed his order and if the word goes around that he just lets it slide people would talk. They already went around about how Alexander was his favorite. Which he was. Just so you know.

Because that intelligent, energetic young man was like his own son. Washington wanted him to be his son. He was perfect for him. Alex was just like George was when he was young and just like the son he would have hoped to have. But for some reason, the boy hated when he even called him son always just out of reach.

He the tent flaps flap when Alexander walks in. His expression was guarded and worried. Washington internally sighed and braced himself. Here we go.

"Son..."

"Don't call me son" Washington purses his lips. That again. Internally he knew he should respect his wishes but he was just too angry. 

"This war is hard enough Without infighting" he continues. "

" Lee called you out. We called his bluff" Alexander retaliates. 

"You solve nothing, you aggravate our allies to the south" 

"You're absolutely right, John should have shot him in the mouth. That would've shut him up" 

"Son..."

"I'm not'ya son" Would it really be that bad if you were.?

"Watch your tone, 

I am not a maiden in need of defending, I am grown- " 

"Charles Lee, Thomas Conway

These men take your name and they rake it

Through the mud" You really care that much? 

"My name's been through a lot, I can take it" He answers instead. 

"Well, I don't have your name, I don't have your titles, I don't have your land. But, if you-" 

"No" I need you here, you could get hurt, you're not ready yet. 

"-If you gave me command of a battalion, a group of men to lead. I could fly above my station after the war" Alex barrels on. 

"Or you could die and we need you alive" 

"I'm more than willing to die" Why??? I'm not willing to let you die, son. 

He tries to reason: "Eliza needs you alive, son, I need you alive" 

"CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME" 

They freeze. Washington could not believe what just happened. He could see a small tear escaping Alexander's eye. The boy was staring in shock at the ground.

"Go home, Alexander" He then decides. A home would be a safe bet. With that girl of his. He knew he needed his boy but this has to be done. 

"That's an order from your commander" 

"Sir.." there was something weird in Alexander's eyes and voice but Washington holds his ground. It's for the best he tries to convince himself. 

"Go. home." he turns away from Alexander. It stabs his heart just a little when he hears Alexander go. 

-ω-

Alexander was in a daze. He did not regret defending Washington's name. The man was amazing. You talk about ** ~~my father~~** the general he could not let it slide. 

He did regret shouting at him. He kept calling him son again again after he told him not to. And he knows the general wants to and part of him wants it too but, it's just Alexander's father was not a good person. He was abusive since Alexander was young and he left Alex and his mom. He was nothing like the General who was almost becoming like a father to him. And that was bad. Because fathers let you down and hurt you and leave you. He can't have that not from the general. He just can't.

But now. Washington has left him too. He has quite literally turned away from him and told him to leave. To go home.

What home? This was his home. WAR was his home. Alexander doesn't have a house. Eliza and he broke up early it just couldn',t work out between them. So he doesn't have family or friends that aren't in the war or just dead.

( _Dad walking away, mom going limp, James screaming for Alex in the hurricane, Alex walking in on Peter-)_

He wants to say something but Washington had already turned away. And would the man even care? What would he think if he found out that Alexander had no actual home to go to? How pathetic he was. So he leaves the tent the chance of an actual good parent and his home and friends behind. He packs up without a word to anyone. They would think him pathetic so useless filth for not having a home.

His heart feels heavy as he leaves but he refuses to cry. He was alone again. Nobody to care if he just disappeared. But he has done it before he could do it again. "Remember Alex you gotta learn to fend for yourself," Jemmy said once after mom died.

-ω-

The next two months were agony to them both. 

Alex lived in the New York City streets. He worked non-stop in different jobs to get money. He stole and played people. He fought against other homeless people trying to take what little he had. He starved but he survived. He has done this before. The familiar hunger clawed down at his stomach but he endured. He cursed himself in the first weeks. He had gotten used to eating and an actual bed and people. Stupid of him. His frame going back to even smaller and thinner. 

He built his walls back and keeps his guard up. The familiar longing for being part of something returned but he would pull through. Sometimes he would lie down in an alley. Letting the self-hate rage around. Thinking about his friends who were fighting. Were they even alive? Did they care? Did the general care? If he died now would he just be forgotten? Just that annoying loud mouth they once knew but nobody knows where he went. These days were hard. The only thing keeping him doing anything stupid was the thoughts of Peter. He long ago promised never to do the same. He still had so much to do.

But god he was so tired. 

Washington had a hard time working. He missed Alexander. Nobody could work so well as he did. His workload grew with no Alexander. He saw the way Alexanders friend group and many soldiers were more down than with the energetic boy around.

He wondered how Alexander was doing. That nice girl was probably keeping him company. He was probably so bored wanting to come and fight. The thought of that made him chuckle.

He only found out by accident. He had been walking in the campground when he heard one of his friends' worried conversation. Laurens and Lafayette. He stops when he hears his tittle. 

"We should talk to the General about this. He probably knows"

"John I'm sure mon petit lion is fine. Ze general would not let anything bad happen to him. This must be just very important for not letting us know"

"But he would tell or send a message. Even Herc sends us messages and told us where he went an he is right in the middle! It's not like Alexander and he has been gone for months" John stresses. 

There was silence for a moment.

"We wait for ze weekend. If there is no word from mon petit then we ask ze General. Yes?"

"Ask me what?" Washington steps in. Dread filling his chest. No way...

"Ah Your Excellency, sir" they salute. He nods.

"Uh, we just. We are worried. Alexander has been gone for two months with no words from him. We understand that it must be an important mission for him to leave without a word and not write but we are getting concerned... If you could just tell us if he is alright that would be enough"

Washington's chest feels tight.

"You have not heard of him?" he asks

"No sir, we assumed you would know of him if he was in a mission" 

"Hamilton is not on a mission" the feeling of worry filling his chest fast.

"He- he is not? Then where did he go? Why did he not tell? Why doesn't he write?" Lafayette asks frantically.

"I send him home as a reprimand for disobedience after he went and dueled Lee"

There was silence.

"But it was my idea to duel! I shot Lee! " Laurens protests. "But he knew he wasn't allowed to do anything about Lee even become a second for the duel" Washington reasons.

Laurens opens his mouth but Lafayette's voice stops him.

"You send him home?" his voice was silent. His eyes were wide and panicky.

Washington nods. What now? 

"Sir I- he- Alexander doesn't have a home. His home is here" Lafayette answers.

Gilbert knew things about his best friend. More than others did. Like Alexander was really poor, how his old home was destroyed and about his childhood. 

Washington stared in shock. WHAT? Panic started to worm into his heart.

"But what of that girl of his? I was under the impression they were courting? Or Family? Friends?? " he tries weakly. He knew Alexander was from Nevis. No parents but there had to be something. Anything to tell him that his boy was fine and alive and NOT HOMELESS AND ALONE. 

Lafayette shakes his head." He has no family left and no friends outside of war and Eliza and he ended it a long time ago" 

Oh fuck. God no, please... Washington felt desperate. 

"Then where?! "

"We don't know sir" 

"I want him found. Look anywhere. Go" his hands were shaking behind his back. They saluted and left in a hurry. 

He quickly returns to his quarters and once he got in he locked the door and collapsed against it. It was very unusual for him to show weakness but damn it. His boy. His brilliant boy was somewhere out there. Alone and homeless. He could be dead collapsed against some dumpsters bloodied and beaten or taken by the British and tortured or or... 

Oh god... He needed to find him and hold him. Hug him and never let go just to reassure himself that the boy was alive. Have him on his right where he belongs and where he can keep an eye on him. Where he will plead for getting the command and get a no. Just, please...

-ω-

It took a week to find him. It was the worst week of Generals life. He went to look for himself unable to just sit and wait. He finally understood the panic he has seen in many parents when he goes to tell them the news. 

He was looking through the city eyes moving around looking for the smallest hint. Asking anybody have they seen the boy. And then he finally finds him. One of the shop keepers tells him that he has had the boy work for him. He shows him directions where Alexander usually leaves and Washington thanks him and almost sprints to where he has been told to go. 

Then he sees him. And it's like his worst nightmare. The boy was slumbered against the wall. He was dirty and even skinnier than before. He had cuts and bruises on his body

and his clothes are torn from places. Washington wants to cry. 

He moves closer to his boy wanting to check his pulse praying he was alive. He didn't get much closer before Alexander was alert looking around wildly for a threat. His eyes widen with recognition and blush creeps up his dirty cheeks. 

Washington is seeing him at his lowest. Dirty and pathetic. 

They stare at each other Washington soaking in every detail. He did this. He Alexander should have told him but he should have known. He should know these things about his soldiers. He sees the self-hate and embarrassment in those eyes. Eyes that used to be passionate were now weary, guarded and dimmed. Alexanders shoulders were tense and he was alert about everything around him.

Then he was opening his mouth. "Sir.." it was a weak small sound. Voice hoarse and unused. Suddenly Washington was moving fast and taking Alex into a hug not caring that he was getting his suit dirty. To his surprise, Alexander flinched when he touched him but he was already locked into a hug. The boy was tense in it every instinct that had been awoken by the past month screaming for him to escape he was trapped now. Run!

But it felt so nice. So warm and safe. It was human contact something he hadn't gotten for so long. He melted in it soaked it in desperately borrowing his head into his commander's neck and clutching his jacket and shaking. He was starting to feel dazed with all of this his mind going foggy lack of food and sudden emotions. Dad has come back for him. 

Washington could feel it. He could feel the stiffness turning to desperation. How he was shaking in his arms clutching him like he would disappear. It was scary. What has his boy been though over the past 2 months he didn't want to even imagine.

So he clutches the boy right back protectively and murmurs reassurance.

"I'm so sorry my boy forgive me, it's time to get back home" and he pics the boy up. It was scary how light the boy was. The bones could be felt under the shirt.

Alexander was limp in his arms other than clutching his shirt he was seemingly too far away. Still shaking glassy look on his face.

His eyes started to droop on the way back. 

This was safe, right? Washington was safe! But he left you he abandoned you like everybody else. The anxiety spiked but he was too weak to react to it much. 

His breathing began to hitch and quickened. Weak struggle against Washington's chest. Washington started to get concerned so he held him tighter and shushed him. "It's okay son, I'm not leaving you again. Ever I promise" this seems to pease The boy.

Once they got into the camp he hurries to his tent avoiding the other soldiers. He feels like Alexander wouldn't want to be seen like this.

Once inside, he sets Alexander into his bunk and starts to treat him. The boy was completely gone now. Floating in darkness. He bandages his boy and takes water cloth to clean his face and arms. Once set he gets food and waits.

-ω-

Alexander woke up ina bed. A BED! It was warm a nice. There was someone next to him. Holding his hand. It was the General. Memories flooded his mind. Washington had carried him back. He should be embarrassed. And he was just weirdly not too much.

"Alexander? How are you feeling? " Washington asks.

Alexander just stares for a moment. He was here he was back. It' wasn't a dream. Washington sees his boy was still bit dazed so he moves on. He puts the plate in front of Alexander. The boy looks at it like someone gave him part of heaven. Eyes wide and hopefull. It hurts to watch. Washington just nods when Alexander looks at him and immediately Alex was practically inhaling it. Screw modesty he was starving.

Washington watches pained as Alexander eats like he fears that Washington might take it away. Soon the plate was empty and Washington would give him more but lack of food and sudden supply would be too much for the stomach.

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you" Alexander mumbles.

Washington just nods and hugs him again. 

"I'm so sorry" he whispers. 

"It's alright it wasn't your fault I should have told you" Alexander mumbles. 

They stay like that until Alex is asleep again. 

-ω-

Time passes and Alexander is back to work. He still works well. He is still energized and passionate. People are happy to have him back.

The difference is that he is more guarded and cautious now. He eats fast and talks less. Not much less but still less. Washington notices. He barely lets the boy out of his sight anymore. He doesn't ask for command anymore, no more talking back either. It should be good but it isn't because it is not like Alexander. 

Something was different in their relationship. They are closer now. But still, somehow it feels like they are even further than before. 

Washington goes with it for a week before he is calling Alexander for talk. 

"You wanted to see me, sir?" 

"How are you doing, son?" Alexander doesn' t protest anymore not verbally anyway but he goes stiff. 

"I'm doing well. It's good to be back, sir" 

"Then what's wrong?" 

"I don't know what you mean, sir" 

Washington lets out a frustrated sigh. Alexander stiffens. 

"Yes, you do. You're more guarded, you are somehow even more obedient than before, no more asking for your own command no more talk. It's like-" then it clicks. He walks to Alexander who was stiff as aboard. 

"Alexander, son. Look at me" the command is immediately followed. 

"I will never, ever send you away again. Understand? NEVER! No matter if you talk back or express your thoughts I will never let this happen again. I'm not abandoning you again" he puts all his sincerity in this and hopes Alexander understands. The boy's breathing hitches. "I swear to you" he adds.

Alexander nods eyes wide and vulnerable. Washington hugs him. They talk. For the first time, Alexander lets down his walls completely. They break out Washington's whiskey and they talk some more. Washington gets to know more about this boy. His heart breaks as Alexander tells him about his past. After some tears, whiskey, and hugs Washington asks what he has wanted to say. 

"Alexander my boy. I wish one day if you would have me that you let me become a father to you. That you give me the right to finally call you son. I promise you that if that day were to happen I would always be there for you. And even if you won't I would still always be there as long would let me.". 

Alexander looks at me teary-eyed unusual display of weakness showing from them both and he throws himself on Washington hugging him and gasping" yes yes yes yes"

Washington might have cried then.

Two days later they emerge from Washington's tent, Washington's hand on his SON'S shoulder as Alexander talked. The adoption papers were signed. Alexander kept his name now Hamilton-Washington.

He wanted to scream to the world

LOOK AT MY SON!

Pride would not be enough to describe the feelings he was having. He loved his son so much. HIS SON!!! He knew that one day Alexander would blow them all away and he would be there to support him.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Omg feels! I'm so proud of myself I think I did well if I say so myself. I've never done onr shot this long. 
> 
> Thank you for reading leave a comment, like and a prompt those are appreciated!  
> Tumblr: Pinxku22


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